Advice for the Beyond Stage:
“Bless your children by getting rid of your stuff before you go. Or, pay them back for all the torture they dished out to you their first 20 years by making them sort through your stuff, even every last piece, including their artwork from kindergarten and the broken, flowered dessert plate that was their great-great-great-grandmother’s.”
I have a sister who loves the old ancestral pieces. Happily, she has room for them and loves doing the research. Right now, she is tracing a chair from the late 1800s that likely came from our mother’s grandmother on her mother’s side, who, rumor has it, owned a furniture store. However, we never met or heard about anyone from that part of our family tree. Why not? I’m very interested in the outcome of this developing story, but I have just completed my seventh downsizing since 2001, and I only want the story, not the chair.
Ask yourself, “Which am I? (1)Make it easy for the lucky ones who empty my space when I go to the non-physical (still conscious, it is reported, but no need to dust or unload the dishwasher). Or (2) throw the whole mess on my grieving heirs?”
I’m lucky to live in a ‘tiny home’ a few steps from my daughter and her family. Grandkids and dogs come regularly for treats. Those dogs. Where do they hang out at their house?
After our house fire in 2001, I had to buy all new furniture for the rebuilt house. I was fresh with ideas, having just finished my 3-year Feng Shui training. I designed the floor plan, painstakingly selected flooring, paints, appliances, countertops, doors, toilets, every detail. The results were stunning.
I had planned to buy some simple, plain-colored living room furniture for this post-fire house. One day, I took my daughter, who was just finishing high school, with me to wrap up my decision. As we wandered towards the pieces I planned to buy, she was mesmerized by a large, fluffy couch accompanied by a matching extra-large lounge chair and a standard-sized lounge chair. They were French Country style, covered in a flowered print with reds, subtle greens, and browns on a soft, off-white background. “Impossible,” was my internal reaction, but I stared at it, sat in it, contemplated it, watched her enthusiasm for it, and bought it just like that.
The sweet memory of that impulsive decision still lingers. I loved those pieces through two homes, but none of them fit in my house in Delaware. I passed it to my daughter to use in her first Delaware home. Eventually, the couch died from too many dogs and little kids.
In their beautiful, newest home next to my tiny home, the two chairs are surrounded by windows in her morning room, which looks out towards a small lake. She found a cover for the now slightly ragged, extra-large, fluffy chair. Every day, their two dogs nestle into it and joyfully keep track of everyone in the house, as well as the jumping fish and ducks on the pond.
Each time I see the dogs enjoying the comfiest place they could ever imagine, I remember every loving moment of that impulsive purchase.
Hidden treasure of downsizing?
Tangible future functionality for pieces, accompanied by heart-warming memories.
Coral tiles spread out around the inviting blue pool and breezy palms. Every square inch of this patio is a beautiful treasure of nature, now lifeless but with patterns holding the memory of sacred geometry’s golden ratio, or patterns of the Seed of Life or more. Every tile is carefully fitted against its neighbor, ensuring nothing is wasted.
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Sar – what?
Jan and I are on the island of Bonaire, a Dutch Caribbean paradise. Except all is not perfect. He is here continuing his work to help address their waste problem.
Bonaire is famous for its beautiful coral reefs and sea life, which have spawned a tourist industry focused on snorkeling, scuba diving, deep-sea diving, and, because of their strong winds, windsurfing.
Once a month, the Rehoboth Beach Writers Guild has an event called 'Art in the AM.' Three artists of any mode offer a piece of their work, and then three writers per piece offer their interpretation, nine writers in total. Hearing the various responses to the same piece is fascinating and stimulating. Then, our talented musician, Stuart Vining, sings a song he has selected that the art reminds him of. So, for September, I chose to write about this photograph by professional nature photographer Sharon Denny. 
We are just finishing up Date #19, several months into our 5th year of this LAT - Living Apart Together relationship. Looking back here is a poem Maggie was inspired to write on the 5-year anniversary of Date #1. Enjoy and look for more posts soon!
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Fisherman Painting Anne Buck Maggie wrote this essay in September 2023 to read at "Art in the AM," an event with the Rehoboth Beach Writer's Guild in Delaware, USA.
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Date #12. Maggie is in the Netherlands with Jan in his new home. The schedule so far this visit has been more ‘stay-at-home', which means days of eating home-cooked Dutch food (did I say potatoes?). “Construction workers build polders and cities with this food,” Jan said as he placed the dishes of freshly prepared Stamppot on the table.
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We love adventures. Stringing together the bits that make this long-distance relationship work, Priority #2 is, We Love Adventure. We both know at a deep level that life is inherently filled with risk, that stepping off a cliff into the unknown can bring great benefit, or maybe disaster, it’s a risk after all. But sitting paralyzed in fear of the unknown is the biggest risk.
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Jan found this guesthouse while making plans for his business trip to Bonaire. He booked it on a hunch that it would be perfect. We started the adventure with our traditional toast of champagne! It turned out John and Kim, owners of the Oasis Guesthouse are amazing, knowledgeable, charming hosts. They bought this place 5 years ago and added all the warmth and beauty we could possibly want. 
Two dates and new things happening in our lives since we last posted, so we have lots to share. But today we are again two months 3815 miles apart. We video chat every day. We miss each other. And every once in a while, whether we are togther or apart, Jan will say...
Greek food is so good you always hear. First on the list was me asking Jan if there was anything I could bring from the States. Bourbon he quickly replied. It is hard to find in Europe. I wanted it to be special and surprisingly found this 12-year-old, highly rated, bottle at the local liquor store in Longneck, DE. He didn’t open the bottle in Greece. He would look at it affectionately but saved it until he returned to the Netherlands. He poured himself a glass of Oozo each evening. Naturally, it's Greek!
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Date #8. At last. After 30 weeks and 6 days apart we are together. Jan, if you didn’t know, is a genius kind of guy that created a better way to turn plant and animal waste into natural gas for fuel and safe fertilizer for food production.
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Gisteravond was Jan een van de weinige afgestudeerden die werd geïnterviewd tijdens een Zoom-meeting voor de Heart Core Leadership-training die we allebei in 2019 hebben gedaan. De kwestie van de leeftijd kwam ter sprake. De jongste persoon aan de lijn was 21. Vóór de training had ze altijd het gevoel dat ze ‘dit’ of ‘dat’ ‘ooit’ zou willen doen, maar ze was ‘te jong’. Last night Jan was one of a few graduates interviewed on a Zoom call for the Heart Core Leadership training we both did in 2019. The question of age came up. The youngest person on the call was 21. Before the training she always felt like she would like to do ‘this’ or ‘that’ ‘sometime’, but she was ‘too young’. 
Flying high over clouds of culture and phantom need to separate strangers
beyond a degree of common sense
a plane glides towards Amsterdam
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Nederlanders hebben de afgelopen weken uitdrukking gegeven aan sociale afstand en quarantaine. Het is "Skin Hunger"; het verlangen om een knuffel te krijgen, iemand aan te raken, te kussen. We hadden onze eigen versie daarvan voordat het Covid 19 Virus zijn mars over de planeet begon.Met 3815 mijl tussen onze huizen hadden we een geweldige tijd van januari 2019 tot februari 2020 voor een paar dagen of weken achter elkaar. Elk evenement noemden we een date; zes tot nu toe, de kortste 5 dagen, de langste 31 dagen.
The Dutch have created an expression in the past weeks of social distancing and quarantine. It is "Skin Hunger"; the longing to get a hug, touch someone, kiss. We had our own version of that before the Covid 19 Virus began its march across the planet. With 3815 miles between our homes we had a great time from January 2019 through February of 2020 meeting for a few days or weeks at a time. Each event we called a date; six so far, the shortest 5 days, the longest 31 days
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16.398 kilometer. 11 uur tijdsverschil. We kijken elkaar aan via onze telefoons tijdens ons nachtelijke WhatsApp-videogesprek. Maggie is thuis in Delaware. Jan is in Jakarta, Indonesië.Flash back:. Afgelopen januari in San Miguel de Allende. "Hoe zit het met ons?" waagde Jan het na onze eerste 24 uur samen te vragen; terwijl we zij aan zij in het prachtige appartement vol authentieke Mexicaanse kunst zaten.
Read more...10,189 miles. 11-hour time difference. We look at each other through our phones on our nightly WhatsApp video call. Maggie’s at home in Delaware. Jan is in Jakarta, Indonesia.Flash back. Last January in San Miguel de Allende. “What about us?” Jan ventured after our first 24 hours together; sitting gently side by side in the beautiful apartment lavished with authentic Mexican art.
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De halve maan van februari blijft hangen boven een horizon die zachtjes wordt verlicht door verre hotels. Gekleurde lichten flikkeren onder het zacht kabbelende oppervlak van het zwembad. Twee-en-drie verdiepingen tellende flatgebouwen, elegant afgewerkt in roze stucwerk met gebogen bogen en witte kolommen, creëren een cirkel van schoonheid rond het zwembad.
